I wait and wait, does an angel contemplate my fate?

Feeling a little sick, don't know why. Probably over-exerted myself and what I'm feeling is all due to exhaustion. Just need some rest, a break, that's all. "Have a break, have a Kit-Kat." XD

You know you're really practicing when you start to perspire. Played my cello for a whole 2h just now and I took a bath right after. I was having such a good time that I completely forgot about the time.:] Ah, but I really need to cut down on my cello practise and focus on my piano.:O But no worries, playing the piano is fun too! ^.^

My room's a mess! Really need to start cleaning up. >.< Everywhere I walk I'm bound to knock into something, and it's starting to get really annoying. Better get it done tomorrow...

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I'm contented, I'm satisfied. Though I didn't get my answer, I didn't ask, but I have all I want. I have realised that no further steps need to be taken and things should just be left as they are.

I want people to love me for who I am. Not for how I appear, what I have, but just for me. And if people can't accept the real me, then I don't see the point to try to change who I am.



"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."- Psalm 139: 14

My 200th post! :D

Went to bed at 12am last night and didn't fall asleep till 1am? :S Had lots of stuff on my mind. Haha, at least I still got to sleep.:D

While waiting for assembly to start this morning at school, I decided to take a rest on the hall floor cos I was super tired. Used my bag as a pillow. XD Mandy was shocked when she saw me at first. And when Nick Nan saw me on the floor, he first looked blankly at me then I smiled and chuckled and he followed. Lols. XD

Miss Kee changed our seats in class today. I'm sitting next to Gordon now with Nick Nan and Yi Tian behind me and Danish beside me. Haha, quite happy indeed. ^.^

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This is killing me, I must know now. I've already waited so long and I can't go on like this any longer. I asked before but the answer wasn't definite. Unsatisfied! >.<

Hiding quietly from the truth isn't gonna help, I just want to know. Surely it can't be that hard? Just take it as a favour so I might have sleep back. Cos this(and a whole lot more of stuff) is what's been keeping me up all night.

So tell me already? Let me have a peace of mind. Yes or no, I don't care, I just want to know! Tell me, tell me...

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Some random pictures I took. :D










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My cute little Jerome doing the peace sign(again)! ^.^

"I want someone to love me for who I am..."

"Like a fire shut up in my bones, I want the world to know You are God. With a passion burning deep within, I want the world to know that You live."- Like a Fire, Planetshakers

Had a great sabbath today, it was really nice. :] Instead of going to Chuan Hoe, Joyce and I decided to visit AskGod at SYAS. We had a good time there, and I even got to meet up with Tiffany. I've missed her so much! ^.^ As usual, I was a lot taller. :P

The worship at AskGod was a lot more different as compared to Chuan Hoe, especially in terms of genre of music. They sing contemporary, we prefer hyms and songs from the SYAS songbook. I found the drum there irritating and unnecessary.XD But though the service was preety cool and all, I don't think I ever want go back there ever again. Something weird happened and it gave me a really bad impression of the girls there.

Joyce and I went back to Chuan Hoe after lunch. Haha, I prefer it there. :D Had bible study and continued with my poster. Also had a really good and funny chat with Stacia and Danielle.:P

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A penny for my thoughts...

♥Wait till you get a boyfriend, Danielle. XD
♥No worries, Stacia. :]
♥Ah, cello etude and 3 ochestral pieces in 2 days. >.<
♥Oh no, that weird feeling's back again...
♥He has answered my prayers, just that I haven't realised it yet.
♥Can't wait to give special music again, this time on my cello! :D
♥I'll never have to sing ever again! XD
♥It's your birthday today. It's just so amazing how I used to be jealous of you.
♥Is there such thing of getting jealous over a senior? :O
♥"Do you love the cello or piano more?" I have no idea.
♥4 more days, I MISS YOU! :D
♥I want to play volleyball NOW. >.<
♥That was traumatising, there were so many guys. :(
♥Waiting and waiting... Maybe I should take the initiative.
♥My friends are awesome.
♥I love you, but don't come back so soon, alright?
♥Help me to stay strong for You, O Lord! :D



"He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."- Matthew 17:20

Tell me what to do, I need Your guidance.

Yesh, I'm gonna be playing Tchoukball tomorrow! :D Haha, all thanks to Yi Tian for introducing me to the game.:] It's time to perspire and get dirty! XD Guess it's a good way to be happy and just have fun. Ah, I want to play volleyball again. (^>.<^)
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I always felt that blogging was a good way to release stress and tension, but strangely, it hasn't been much of help these few days. Really need to find some other positive way to make myself feel better, or I'm gonna explode.


"I call, You answer. And You came to my rescue and I want to be where You are..." I'm calling, but where's the answer? I'm still waiting for it. The complications seem to be beyond my control.

Could I be over-reacting? No way, I heard it with my own ears! All the other 13/ 14 year-olds I know don't go through this sort of stuff, they don't have to make decisions with such drastic results.

Can't seem to get this out of my mind, it's all I think about. I never expected things to turn out this way, they were better before. I thought everyone had put the past behind them.

What if they do carry out the things the things they said they would do? Where will I go then? Who's gonna be there for me? What's gonna become of me? Sorrow and pain fills my heart.



Reign in me, O Lord! Help me remain strong for You!

Don't try to get me, alright?

Yesh, found Khoon Mun on Facebook, this is AWESOME. :D Haha, he, Wei Yew and I used to be the best of friends till we were moved to different classes in primary school. Wow, I missed him so much.:P

It's amazing how much joy and pain the people in our lives can bring us. Everything little thing they do, of course depending on the relationship between them and us, makes a difference. I try to ignore or live with the pain, trying my best to remain strong.

But when these people bring you joy, that immense joy just overwhelms. They just make you so happy, and for that moment you forget all the pain stored within you. Sadly, it doesn't go away forever.
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I'm thankful for everything that's happen. It's true that I haven't fully accepted what I'll have to face, but I don't have much of a choice. At least I know I'm doing what's right and I won't have to live with regret all my life.



"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."- James 1:12

Why do things have to get so complicated?

The March holidays are officially over and another busy school term awaits me. Had some CME project work to complete this afternoon so I had to meet up with my groupmates Joyce, Yi Tian and Mandy. We went to some place near Yi Tian's house and started immediately with our work. We took turns to do different things so that the rest could play volleyball. :P Mandy and I were practising our spiking, and I finally got it right! :D But Yi Tian(sports fanatic) is still a way lot better cos she plays volleyball as her CCA. Overall, we all had lots of fun and managed to complete our work. :]

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Even this isn't part of Your will? Ah, I don't have the right to question You. It's just that all of this is so confusing. Am I going to have to make this hard decision and risk everything just for You?

I'll always remember what Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.".

I learnt just this morning when doing my devotion that it's important that we await for His perfect timing, about His plans for us. I know He's doing something in my life I mean, was this just a coincidence? I don't think so.

Honestly, I'm lost, confused and really sad. I have no idea what to do, how to feel. Sometimes it seems to me that others are just so much more fortunate than I am, but I ought to be thankful for whatever God has provided me with. This may sound weird, but I ought to be thanking Him for this turmoil.

No matter what happens, I'll continue to have faith in the Lord! :]



"For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. . . "
-Psalm 37:28

Waiting for yesterday.

Went to church as usual today, learnt and discussed about lots of cool stuff. :] The youth had a meeting to discuss the past 3 months and some activities we can do in the new future which turned out pretty well. After that most of us went out for dinner and had a great time... That reminds me, I need to go read the book of Leviticus all over again! O.O

Yesh, I did go out with Joyce yesterday, just not to the gym(good thing). The number of guys there kinda turned her and especially me off so we played badminton instead. Haha, yay, I improved!:D We played for about two and a half hours. We stayed on a little longer cos it was raining outside and we couldn't go anywhere. And now my limbs are aching really bad. Ow!(^>.<^) After that we went for lunch and had this really heart-to-heart talk that really opened my eyes to some stuff. I was pretty down for a while (No, I wasn't pissed with Joyce =.=) but I got over it just this morning.^.^ Yup, and I was really tired when I went to CARE group but dinner made me hyper.:P

Hmm... It seems that I always have something to whine about on Saturday nights, although I have no idea why at all. :O Although I do have something in mind that's really been bothering me, I won't mention it.:]

Guess I'm just really thankful for what God has done in my life. Though some stuff has been a little rough for me, He's still stood by my side no matter what. He's made so paths and ways for me to fulfill my dreams and ambitions, and although I might not be able to see His work fully in my life now, I am sure I'll be able to in the near future. Isn't He just so awesome? ^.^

And yes, there are some stuff in life that sometimes really gets me down and I feel I can't handle. But somehow everytime I tell myself to leave it all to Him, things seem to get much better and I'm able to rest assured that He will deal with my troubles and fustrations. :D And Psalm 91 always assures me of God's protection over me. :D

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
-Psalms 91